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PERHAPS WE LEARNED SOMETHING.....
…Perhaps we were only mildly entertained. Regardless, please enjoy these Reviews, Responses, Works of Fiction, and Retellings brought to you by one who hopes to someday join the ranks of those who have written something worth reading.
(Kaylia Metcalfe)

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On not being a hypocrite while being an optimmist.



Me: Look at my stupid funger, it is all swollen and gross.
Matt: What happened?
Me: I don't know. I had a hangnail and I bumped it, not sure what was first but it is super tender and driving me crazy.
Matt: That looks infected. you should call your doctor.
Me: I don't want to,
Matt: But you should.

Later....

On the phone with my grandmother discussing her cough and hoarse voice.

Me: I think it has been long enugh, you should probably call your doctor.
Her: I don't want to.
Me: That's not the point, you should call your doctor anyway.
Her: Mmhmmm.

The irony not lost on me, I sent a message to my doctor via email.

This sounds odd, I know that I had a hangnail and now my finger is all swollen, very tender to the touch, warm to the touch, and bright red with a little white next to the nail. It is making it very hard to type, and as a writer, that is kind of a big deal...

I figured it would go away on its own but it has been a few days and my husband is freakng me out by insisting that it is infected. I promised him I would email you. The pic is blury but it sort of shows what Iam talking about.


I included a blury photo of my finger.
Less than two hours later she wrote back.

Your finger does look infected. The picture is blurry but I think there may be a pocket of pus which we may need to open and let out. It would be good to come in. In the meantime I've sent antibiotics for your to pick up and take.

I hate when he's right.

The good news is that he can get my perscription for me.

The bad news is I get to go have my finger drained on Tuesday.

The even better news is that Ella gets to come with me.

BUT, being the optimist I am, I'm going to use thiis as a learning tool... she can watch me have this done and then get my flu shot and learn that boo-boos happen, that doctors help us, and that everyone gets shots but live and recover quickly.

At least that is what I am telling myself.







Did I mention it is the middle finger?


Memory Book update

Just ordered Ella's "Birth - 1 Year" memory book.


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She is almost 20 months old... so I feel this is pretty good, time wise.

My *goal* is to finish each of her memory books between her birthday and Christmas, but that is a lofty goal and not super practical. 

Ok, next up:
Matt and Kay Go To Tokyo Memory Book!
Matt and Kay Go To England Memory Book!
Matt and Kay Get MARRIED Memory Book!

Liklihood of these all getting done before the family reunion next month?

Nil to none.

Oh well.


Sometimes you can't win

A list of the things I did tonight that made Ella cry. A partial list that only represents the last hour of our day.

I gave her a fork
I gave her a spoon
I gave her water
I gave her milk
I gave her food.
I didn't let her eat off my plate.
I relented and let her eat off my plate and she realized we had the same food.
I ate some of the food.
I wiped her face.
I wiped her hands
I wiped the table after she had gotten down.
I petted the cat
I turned on a light
I only let her wipe herself twice after going potty.
I didn't need to go potty.
There were too many bubbles in her bath.
There were not enough bubbles in her bath.
I washed her hair
I washed her privates
I washed her back
I didn't wash the duck the right way
I let the water out of the tub
The water did't empty from the tub fast enough
I dried her off with the wrong towel.
I yawned.
I offered her jammies that she hates
I offered another pair of horribly offensive PJs
Another pair.
I didn't pull her PJ pants (first set) on her fast enough.
I read the story in the wrong voice
I sang the wrong song
I sang the wrong other song
I still couldn't figure out which song she wanted
I finally figured it out, but then I didn't sing it enough times.
I tripped over the gate on my way out and had to sing another song.
The blanket was on her feet.
The blanket wasn't on her legs.
I didn't give her enough kisses
I gave her too many kisses

***

I need a drink.


Well, "Bless" You Too Lady

It was a warm day... not a hot day (those are coming) but still, a warm day.

Ella and I were leaving the 99 Cent store.

"Excuse me," a voice from near the door called out  as I adjust my sunglasses, "excuse me?"

I turn and see her, a middle aged woman, sitting cross legged in the two inches of shade granted her by the tiny overhang.

Seeing she has my attention, "Excuse me, do you have any spare change?"

My response is part instinct, all truth, "No, sorry, I don't carry cash."

"Ok, thanks anyway."

At this point Ella notices the dog in the lady's lap, a wiener dog with its tongue hanging out. Ella begins to make the "uff uff" sound and point in glee.

"Umm, I don't have any change, but I have water, does your dog need water?" Leave it to my toddler to remind me to be a decent person.

"Oh yes! I am trying to save up money for water." Whether this is true or not, the dog looks miserable.

"Ok, hang on." I have a costco soda fountain drink cup half full of cold water. I pour another inch into Ella's cup and then roll closer to the woman and hand her the paper cup.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!"

"No problem," I say backing the stroller up.

"God Bless you!"

"Oh," I have a second of thinking I should just shut up, but I have a big mouth. "Not about God, just trying to be decent. Stay cool!" I turn the stroller (and the still "uff uff" chanting toddler) away and prepare to head down the sidewalk.

"Wait..." I glance back at her, "You don't believe in God?"

"Nope," I smile,try to make myself look as friendly as possible, "Have a good day"

Again, I turn and start to walk away.

I get three steps.

"Well FU*K YOU!" The cup of water hits me in the back and goes flying off into the parking lot.

I look back, she is glaring, clutching the dog to her chest, her eyes tiny needles of hate, "Yeah, you heard me, FU*K You! Hope you have fun in HELL!!!"

My 19 month old is now saying "Ohh? in a questioning tone -on the verge of tears- and my back is wet.

I take a deep breath. Pick up the empty cup, throw it away, and then walk, slowly and deliberately, away. Half way through the parking lot Ella and I sing the ABCs as I try to calm down.

Poor dog.

Quandary ...


In the mail today, addressed to Ella, was a religious story book.

From a religious family member.

Who KNOWS we are not a religious family. Knows beyond a shadow of a doubt because she and I have had several conversations about it.

There was no note, no card, in the envelope... just the book.

I am conflicted. On the one hand I want to be polite and say thank you. I want to honor the sweetness that someone thought of my daughter and spent the time and effort to send her something.

On the other hand, I don't plan on letting her keep the book. She is "reading" it now, but it will probably disappear as soon as her attention wanders.

I am trying to find a way to say thank you… but also please don’t give my child religious books or toys etc in the future. I want to be polite and respectful… but also firm.

Am I being too sensitive? Should I just disappear the book and not say anything?




The sort of loss that is a good loss

It is spring!
A time for growth and change and planting seeds!
And freaking out about swimsuit season.

Ahem

Just a quick "base touching" as it were on those 2014 Goals...

Get out of debt.
Finish the novel. Write fiction worth reading, get it out there for people to read
Get funding for GCV.
Run a well organized house.
Lose weight and get healthy.


As of April 5th.

Get Out of Debt:. (Feb 1st: $12,200. April 5th: $8,670) PROGRESS!!!!
Not as much as I had hoped, but it is a dent, and dents add up. 

Finish the novel. 
Errr. I have stopped working on the novel completely. I have some good reasons. I also sort of quit all my nonfiction jobs. So, there's that. 
I need to change this goal to :Get stuff published and enjoy writing again. In THAT category I am doing ok. I am having a lot of fun writing again and I have submitted two things recently and am getting ready to submit a few other things. This is definitively a work in progress. 

Get funding for GCV (Current Monthly Donors: 4. Promised to be monthly donors: another 2)
Hey you, yeah you... want to donate to a very worthy cause? Click here and consider donating. Even $10 a month can make a HUGE difference. In the meantime I will continue to try to fundraise and find grants and bum spare change off people. Because it matters.

Run a well organized house (Status: The living room / dining room is looking pretty ok)
I still need to redo the bathrooms. I redid the kitchen. I need to Stay On Top Of Putting Things Away. Sigh.

Lose weight and be healthy. (Current Weight: 154.)

I am down by a bit over 5 pounds since the beginning of March.

To celebrate, I got 10 inches of my hair chopped off!

Yay me!